No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
