there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize