I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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