You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
