the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so let's talk penis.
sarcasm needs its own font
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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