How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
