I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize