I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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