Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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