I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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