i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I would ride that face into the sunset
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
