You're completely useless in the revolution.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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