I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
