i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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