Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
