I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
