My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
