i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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