"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize