just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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