I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
