Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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