I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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