How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
