She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
so much tequila, so little girl.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
