It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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