I think I just saw someone hide a body.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
