Kiss
Puke
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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