Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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