did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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