and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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