You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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