I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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