At least make sure they are 18
Why
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
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