I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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