We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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