You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
