at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
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