i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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