I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
