Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Terrible idea I love it
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
