Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Randomize
