was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize