One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
