It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
How does it feel to date your dad?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
