I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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