Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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