You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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