we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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