Apparently you make a good broom.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize