we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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