He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
