Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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