I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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