Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
