ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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