Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
