i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
