Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
